The days

 10/17/21

 

Nearly 2 months have gone by.

Some days creep, like slow flowing sediment down a mountain.

Other days whirl by in a blur, like a blinding snow storm.

Reality has set in.

That brings extremely sad days.

That brings sentimental days sharing memories.

That brings happy days as we begin to move forward in our new normal.

Some days I find myself so angry at the unfairness.

Was the ED department at the hospital negligent?  Did they make a mistake?  Slurred speech is not a symptom of sciatica.

I need answers for my sons.

Other days I just want to scream when I hear….

"Heaven has another angel"

"He's in a better place"

"There's a reason for everything"

"Don't question"

"It will be okay"

"You're so strong" (trust me, I'm not)

"Don't feel guilty"

"Don't feel…. XYZ"

And the myriad of other absolutely well intentioned, but horribly misguided platitudes.

I won't even get into the theology of it anymore.

Everyone has their own views.

And I 100% respect everyone's right to believe what they need to, to bring them peace.

Really, we just need hugs.

We just need "I am so sorry.  You are in our prayers, or thoughts"

We just need "I'm here to listen (not offering solutions)"

We just need time to adjust.

We are making new memories while celebrating and remembering past memories.  

I will do what I know is best for my sons and I.  

But it's going to take time, sweet time.

Some days though….I wish I didn't have to be "so strong".

 



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