Friday, December 28, 2012

A challenging day.

Yesterday I was reflecting on my own parenting journey and how that journey ebbs and flows with the different paths we take, we choose, we refuse, we reluctantly take, and paths that surprise us. 

I began thinking that after making a final choice to step away from all parenting boards and parenting 'cliques'

With my own parenting journey and the struggles it has brought with a child facing special needs and another child who is extremely stubborn, I felt it was best for my own sanity. 
I need support, all mothers need support.  At the end of the day if we can't get past a style or parenting choice and choose to tear down each other, then we have accomplished nothing.  Yet if we can extend a hand, offer a hug or encouraging word when another mother is struggling, then we could very well change the world!


Today has been one of the challenging days with David, then adding Aaron who is a typical 4 year old...well it makes for a less than thrilling day.

Sometimes I really think that my children just forget that there are certain ways that it is neither appropriate or acceptable in our home, to act.
 

Nope, it's not OKAY, to pull your clothes out of the dresser and throw them around playing 'ghost'.  No it's not acunacceptable to shake your new kitchen violently playing earthquake. 


Yes, I know it's imaginative play and to squelch that is not always good.  However there are appropriate ways to take care of items.  It's a fine balance in our home and sometimes, I'm just simply the mean mom who does say "That's not the way you play."  When play crosses the line of destructiveness, it is not okay.


Couple this with sensory meltdowns, over stimulation from the holidays, noise sensitivity, AND a full moon...well, pass the wine and calgon take me away!

I found myself staring out of the window thinking, "Okay, I'm ready for school to start back."  Ironically several days ago I was reading a parenting blog where the mother thought it was just terrible parenting for children to go do daycare Monday through Friday, and barely getting time to spend with their parents, so their parents could have "nice things."
Well my first thought was...I don't know what world she lives in, but every single piece of furniture, even our computer and TV are from thrift stores.  We drive beat up cars, I do have a couple of Disney passes, and yes that great Roku!  But luxury?  Hmmm, guess that's in the eye of the beholder.  I work because the rent HAS to be paid.  The electric HAS to be paid.  We NEED running water. 

My second thought was...yeah, time to just step away.  I do love my children dearly and there a was a time I said the same things.  Now, as the  years are going by, I admit, there are times, I need that separation.  And they need that routine. 

Which began a whole spiral of thoughts coming full circle back to...not everyone parents the same way...not everyone feels 100% the same on every subject....there is not one "right" way to parent....BUT most all parents LOVE their children more than breath itself.

Today was challenging as I said.  And on those days, like many parents, we find ourselves more vulnerable and more in need of friendship from fellow mothersAnd then I realized, I really do need to step away from the "online parenting world" and step back into the "real parenting world" with "real" people.  I need face time, I need a mother's night out time, I need support.  It's easy for me by personality to lock myself behind a screen because I don't risk anything.  But then how is that really living?

I'm thankful for new friendships I have made at work with fellow mothers and look forward to kindling those fires of friendship.  And hopefully making new ones!

I'm a mixed bag of parenting.  Doing a little of this, with a dash of that, and 1/2 cup of this, and 1/4 cup of that.  It's a perfect recipe for me, for my family.  And some days, it's not so perfect.  The recipe flops, and it leaves a bitter taste.

Today was a challenging day.
But I know I have support from those who care :)


    





Friday, December 7, 2012

The mom in the child's drawing...Is that me?

As a parent, have you ever had those moments where you look at your child, or an item of your child's, and had an epiphany...that familiar one that seems to come again and again...."Wow, I am someone's mom!"

It's almost eeriely haunting to me every time it happens.  As if I didn't truly realize it until that moment.  I know I'm mom, but sometimes I truly "know" it. 

How odd it seems to type that because honestly there are no mortal words to describe what I'm trying to convey.   But most parents understand it I'm sure.


Today was one of those days.  As I was pulling out David's drawing projects from his backpack I came across the one in this blog post.  I stared at it a moment as if I had never seen a child's drawing in my whole life.  Almost deciphering what was depicted.  Not because I didn't recognize it, because I did!  Easily it was a parent, child, and a Christmas tree. 

I was deciphering because I kept asking myself, is that really me in that picture?  I asked David, "Hey cutie, tell me about your great picture."


"Oh, that's you and me mom and our tree that we decorated."

Wait!  That's me?  I'm someone's mom?  Wow, I *am* someone's mom!  And then I'm once again blown away by the fact that my son loves me.  That he has wonderful memories already that he colors about!  Partly I'm blown away because of things like I've posted in the past.  Parenting struggles, failures that I felt like my "damage" my child, etc, etc.

But it's moments like this that reaffirm that amid all that I feel I do wrong, I must be doing something right.  Because someone is drawing me in a picture filled with a memory!


That picture is proudly displayed on my refrigerator.  And it's more than just a drawing.  It's a work of art!  Right up there with Van Gogh, Monet, Picasso.... Not because it's worth a million dollars, or stuck in some kind of museum.  Beneath the drawn triangles and circles that form the Christmas tree, and the oblong shapes that form the people, the green and red crayons...lies a work of art from the heart that is worth far more than any earthly treasure!

I AM a mom!  I am their mom! <3