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Showing posts from March, 2016

Did I ever tell you the story....

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I remember so vividly the moment I met my oldest son’s soul in a dream.  The dream began in a foggy darkness with my best friend and I walking along a lone sidewalk.   Ahead of us I began to see a bit of light, not sunlight but some kind of pale light.  As we drew closer I saw a tall streetlamp, with its artificial light casting a triangle type beam of light down through the fog onto the sidewalk.  There beneath the streetlight a child stood with his back to us and hands in pocket.  Walking past the child I looked at him.  He had an adorable face, with glasses and this kind of bowl shaped haircut.   I turned to my friend and said, “When I have son, he will look like that little boy.”  At that moment the little boy turned towards me, looked up, and said “Hi mom!”  Something deep in my being knew instantly that I had met my future son.
I woke up filled with a sense of peace and wonder.  My husband and I were not trying to conceive at that point, rather we were about a month and half from…

When no one knocks on the door.

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The knocks come on the door.
"Can Aaron come out and play?"
Often, and with joy!

But the knocks rarely come for David.  I take that back, occasionally they do come.  Usually preceded first by seeing if Aaron can play.  If he can't, or he's busy, they sometimes ask for David.  Sometimes.  But he's rarely a first thought.
And this shatters my heart in a million pieces.

I want to say I get it.  I want to say I somewhat understand.  But another part of me wants to say it shouldn't be that way.  He's just a child, and he wants to play and be included as well.

That can be the heartbreaking part of children with special needs. 
David is quarky, he's loud, he doesn't understand personal space, he has a hearty laugh, he may laugh at inappropriate times, he may add to the conversation, but not in the way one would expect. 
He'll believe you if you joke with him and say you're taking over the world.  He's deathly afraid of bugs so he'll get scared …

How do you pick a leader?

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This morning at Palm Sunday Service, I learned something old, that was like learning something new! Yes that can happen. You can hear something a thousand times, yet it may not "click" until one day when...
I will say in today's societal climate, this can true whether we share the same faith or not. At one point in the reading from the Christian Holy Scriptures, a few that were followers of Jesus wanted to resort to violence to silence His [Jesus] protesters. In the blink of an eye, one cut off the ear of a protester. Jesus told them that it would stop RIGHT NOW! Basically that he'd have none of that, that it wasn't the way to spread his His message essentially. And then Jesus did something even more amazing. He HEALED this protester. An ear restored. It would be interesting to know more on the story of the protestor, what became of him. But we don't know. What we do know and what we learned in that instant is that the mark of GREAT and CARING leade…

The Sound of Music!

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[ David, Dec. 2009, 3 years old ]
Lately [and by lately I mean months, and months, and months, and...well you get the picture], David has been singing Opera.  His whole life is in Opera style right now. 
If he needs to brush his teeth.
It's act one of the morning Opera!
Take a bath?
Closing act..."BAAATTHH TIMMMEEE!!!!" 
Do homework? 
Okay maybe he doesn't sing then, he just grumbles like an old man.

And as much as it can get on my ever loving nerves, a part of me is so thankful that he does it!  Even at 6am!

Christmas Season 2009. 
This year will forever stand out to me.  Now I adore Christmas.  It's my favorite holiday, so every year is stands out.  However this one?  This one is when everything changed. 
David sang for the first time! 


Now I know what you are thinking.  Okay, kids sing, so what made this one special? 
It was special because honestly, I never thought he'd sing.  I never even thought he's really talk, let alone make music!]
On the language fro…

Autism, food battles, & fish sticks!

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It is no secret that children with autism quite often struggle with food.  Look, smells, texture, taste, all play a part.  Their scope of what they will eat can be small and concentrated in one group.  Pastas, sweets, salty, etc. Food is an area where I started noticing that David had struggles from an early age.  With purees, I offered a wide variety of foods and often, since it takes an average of 15 times for an infant to acquire a taste of something.
No matter how many times over the course of about 10 months in the puree stage, he never would get used to vegetables most fruits, and meats.
Mainly he loved oatmeal, applesauce, peaches, and macaroni and cheese purees. 
It was incredibly frustrating.  When I tried introducing more textured food as he matured, he HATED them.  He gagged on most things that infants and toddlers love.  Those puffs?  Not so much!  Little crackers.  No way!  He did love the cheese puff like Gerber Graduates.  He would eat those.  And Cheerios.  He finally got…

Let it rise! Homemade yeast rolls.

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Some meals cry out for hot, buttery bread. 
Pot roast, spaghetti, cottage pie....


I love making fresh bread.  And you want to know a secret?  It's not so much because I like to eat it. [Well I DO like to eat it], but I LOVE the smell of fresh yeast rising dough! 
It seems to fill the whole house and screams out fresh home cooking!
This time I made yeast rolls, using a basic recipe.  And of course there is room from tweaking based on preference.


What you need:
1 cup warm water
1.5 tablespoons yeast
1 teaspoon honey 
1/2 cup melted butter
1/4 cup honey
3 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
4-6 cups of flour

Directions:
* add one cup warm water, yeast, and 1 teaspoon honey to a bowl.  Let sit for 10 minutes until the mixture foams up.
* add in eggs, melted butter, and honey to yeast mixture.  Mix until blended.


* using a mixture with dough hook, by hand, or in a bread machine, add 1 cup of flour at a time.  Keep adding flour until dough pulls away from the sides and forms a dough ball.
*Mixture will be a bit stick…

I [still] do...10 years later!

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December 2005.
That month he proposed.  I'll never forget it.  I gave him a Christmas gift early that he'd been wanting, an online video game pack.  I jokingly said I wanted one early too.  Then went on about day.
Later that evening he told me to check my stocking.  Yay, an early gift.  Perfume?  Starbucks giftcard?  Nope!  A ring! 
"Let's get married!"  simple, from the heart, and the start of a new chapter among many.  We had been together 2 years already, we had lost a child early to miscarriage.  It was time.

March 27th, 2006
Our wedding.  Small, simple, at a local Women's Club venue.  About 35 people total.  My best friend Michelle, had our wedding cake made as a gift.  We made our own food, buffett/finger food style.  Believe it or not, I purchased my dress online new for $65!  The veil was $15, the tiara was $14! 
The entire wedding was under $600, food, dress, tuxes, venue, decorations, all of it.  I'm all about saving money and enjoying the moment at…

Marvelous muffins...a versatile batter.

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I love to bake and try new concoctions.  Sometimes it works, other times I can only shake my head.
Today I found something that works!

I was in the mood to make some kind of coffee cake style muffins of loaf.  Plus I had quite a bit of yogurt that's going to go bad because I won't be able to eat it all before the expiration date.

Using sugar, flour, baking soda and powder, yogurt, eggs, oil, and milk I made a better that Ive found can be quite versatile.

The Basic Recipe

1 cup of all purpose flour
5-6 tablespoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

Combined dry ingredients in a bowl, give a quick whisk



1 egg
2 tablespoons of milk
1/2 plus 2 tablespoons yogurt
3 tablespoons oil

Whisk together wet ingredients in a bowl, pour onto dry ingredients and whisk until blended.  Don't over mix.

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean.


Now the tweaking.
I used strawberry yogurt, and added in chocolate chips.  It passed the taste t…

A New Chapter, An Old Book!

I've stepped inside a time machine and headed back.  Back in time to the 'overly' romanticized era of stay at home housewives and mothers.  To a time where Donna Reed was busy baking something up, June Cleaver was running the vacuum, and Samantha Stevens was twitching her nose. 
I have to admit, there is a part of me that has always been drawn to that era, to being able to stay home, nurture my family, care for hearth and home, wear aprons, put on make up, greet my husband with a kiss and a cocktail!
In the beginning, when we had our first child, I did stay home.  And along came our second child just 19 months later.  I stayed home for about 3.5 years then.  Yet that time was such a blur.  Those days were the infancy of discovering that our oldest, David, had special needs.  With the day to day grind of being at a loss, of being in tears many days, of barely getting my teeth brushed, I missed out.
I missed out on just enjoying the moment, of looking at it in the new light an…