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The Divorce Chronicles  Healing Takes Time: 5 things NOT to say
Yes I know.  Don't say it.   "Terra, you share too much."
Well, yes.  Yes I do.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  For so long I have always done what others told me.  I stuffed things down.  I lived my life for others.  I'm 47 years old (almost 48).  I will no longer live for others.  At least in the sense of trying to please everyone.  I don't have to hid.  I don't have to feel ashamed.  AND, I don't have to agree.

I'm getting ahead of myself a bit. I'll never forget the day I knew my marriage was over.  May 7, 2017.   1 year, 7 months, 10 days, 11 hours, 18 minutes, 30 seconds ago to be precise (at the time I wrote this).   The year before that our marriage almost ended.  There was 'forgiveness' and we moved beyond. 9 months went by.  I thought everything was perfect.  Better than ever. That Sunday all I heard was "I tried so hard.  But I just don't love you the way a man shoul…

Open letter to the man who told I wasn't perfect enough to date.....

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I get it.  
I really do.
We all have preferences.  We all need that chemistry or spark.

However there is a difference between having a preference and having a cruel outlook and saying things that do not build others up.
I realize not everyone looks at it that way or has the same outlook.
Yet treating others with just a bit of kindness should be common place. 
There shouldn't be excuses made or even things said like "that's a man for you'.
Why?  Because all men (thankfully) are not the same.





But why does it seem that we may receive 100 compliments, yet can't shake the sadness and hurt from just one negative energy?
Now before you say it, let me do it.
Yes, I know it's within myself to not let what others say about me, hurt or damage my soul.

Let's be real though.  Hurtful words and actions/in-actions of others DO affect us.  It's not that there is blame to place, however while I maybe should not dwell on the hurt, the other person needs to understand ownership of…

Stop saying I'm strong! A journey through divorce and the aftermath.

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I so understand the sentiment. 
I get it.
I appreciate the support, love, and concern.
I also know it is not true.
I am not strong.
I am not great.
I am not always doing well.
I'm not always happy.

I hide.
I hide behind a smile.
I hide behind "lies" of I'm doing wonderful.
I hide behind the light of day.
I hide behind "happy" pictures posted on social media.
I hide behind "fun" times.

You don't see all the time I'm alone.
You don't see me embracing the darkness and crying myself to sleep so many nights.
You don't see me on my knees crying and cursing and pleading and making deals & bargains with the God I believe in.
You don't see the loneliness in my heart.
You don't see the endless nights.
You don't see me looking into a future that looks bleak.

Though I know encouragement is just that and can be wonderful.
I also know in the midst of pain it is cliched and trite.

Many of you don't know the depression that ru…