The truth on a paper bag that pierces my heart.

There are things that my children have faced that have made me sad.  Then, there are things that pierce straight through my heart.  I don't think I will ever forget the evening that David walked out of his room wearing a paper bag [pictured below], and said "Look mom!"
He pointed to the bag and said the words that he had written.  "No fun for me."  Then he took off the bag and read the other part.  "Need a normal life mom."
I asked what he meant.
Immediately tears began to run down his face, and he said.  "I'm tired of people making fun of me at school.  Telling me I'm weird and gross."  And then he broke down and really cried.

And I cried too.  It was incredibly hard to hold back tears, so I didn't.  I hated, HATED that my child had to, and has to face this.  I hate that because of his special needs, he has to face the cruelty of being made fun of, and the ignorance of those who don't educated their children, or care to educated themselves on disabilities.  It is a shame that people don't accept others, but rather would bring another to tears and shame them and make them feel 'less than' because they face challenges.

Frankly it angers me.  Now mind you, I really try to not involve myself in "normal" children's battles.  I try hard to raise them as I was.  To ignore the stinging words and realize that often people who do such things either don't know better or need friends themselves and just don't know how to express it properly. 

I was able to not let such ignorance bother me.  And trust me, I was made fun of.
Heartbreakingly, my son is not able to ignore it.  He takes to to heart.  And that frightens me.  Why?
Because I read terribly tragic stories of YOUNG children and teenagers who take their own lives because of such cruelty.

I realize that the occassional ribbing is normal.  But an everyday thing?  One that sends my child to tears?  One that he comes home at least 4 of the 5 days of school, saying the same thing over and over?  That is not right.  And that ANGERS me!

I realize I can't protect him from every single thing.  I just can't.  And I hate that.  I do know I can control some aspects.  And I'm struggling with that currently.  Do I keep him in his current school or take him back to where he began his school time in Preschool, at Our Children's Academy.
Because this school is special needs based, it's own students are much more accepting of each other.  And as a parent, that is a relief for me.  And I know it would be for him. 

The hard part is that children don't come with a manual.  Especially one on children who face challenges.  The only thing I know to do is look to those who have been through it, and follow my own heart as I try to do what's best for David.

One day at a time, some days with tears.  Some days with smiles.
Some days with the reality of a paper bag.


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