A Bewitchingly Ordinary Life!

This is how I remember you.  I am sure it is how I'll always remember you.  When I'm old, when I can not remember much else, when the world seems bleak or when the end of my life nears, I know I still remember "those" days. You were so young, fresh to the world. A million dreams before you.   (video montage) Those days, they flew by.  Faster than I ever dreamed possible.  And now, the days continue to fleet by.  I try to slow down, slow time down yet it only seems to disappear faster. You both have grown so much.  Young boys to young men.  11 and 13.  So close to 12 and 14. I seem so lost. In "those" days, those young days, I felt like I knew what I was doing.  Time proved me wrong.  Some days we sailed through with laughter, other days the three of us ended it in tears. Not much has changed in that respect. Except I realize I have no idea what I was doing then, nor do I have any idea now. I try though. I fail a lot, yet...

This morning at Palm Sunday Service, I learned something old, that was like learning something new! Yes that can happen. You can hear something a thousand times, yet it may not "click" until one day when... I will say in today's societal climate, this can true whether we share the same faith or not. At one point in the reading from the Christian Holy Scriptures, a few that were followers of Jesus wanted to resort to violence to silence His [Jesus] protesters. In the blink of an eye, one cut off the ear of a protester. Jesus told them that it would stop RIGHT NOW! Basically that he'd have none of that, that it wasn't the way to spread his His message essentially. And then Jesus did something even more amazing. He HEALED this protester. An ear restored. It would be interesting to know more on the story of the protestor, what became of him. But we don't know. What we do know and what we learned in that instant is that the mark of GR...

I've stepped inside a time machine and headed back.  Back in time to the 'overly' romanticized era of stay at home housewives and mothers.  To a time where Donna Reed was busy baking something up, June Cleaver was running the vacuum, and Samantha Stevens was twitching her nose.  I have to admit, there is a part of me that has always been drawn to that era, to being able to stay home, nurture my family, care for hearth and home, wear aprons, put on make up, greet my husband with a kiss and a cocktail! In the beginning, when we had our first child, I did stay home.  And along came our second child just 19 months later.  I stayed home for about 3.5 years then.  Yet that time was such a blur.  Those days were the infancy of discovering that our oldest, David, had special needs.  With the day to day grind of being at a loss, of being in tears many days, of barely getting my teeth brushed, I missed out. I missed out on just enjoying the moment, of look...

Do you ever ask yourself, 'Is this normal?'  'Am I normal?' , 'Does anyone or has anyone felt this way?' Well, that is where I'm at t onight.  Lately I've really had no patience, short tempered, having a tough time de-stressing, blocking out noise, and finding some inner peace.  What happened to th at wanna -be gentle mom?  I'm pretty sure she is lost at sea.  I feel like I'm drowning, working outside of the home, then trying to stay on top of things in the home, getting my CDA to teach preschool...sometimes, I feel like the walls are closing in. I snap at my children much to easily lately, and f rankly, I hate it, and hate myself for it.  And it cuts me to the bone when they know it, notice it, and say "Mom, you can't be mean, you can't yell."  I think I'm in need of an overhaul, a retreat away to regroup, parenting classes, classes to gain back patience and stop letting the little thi ngs aggravate me. Certainly I ...

The older I get the more I despise presidential election years.  Not so much because of one particular political party.  But mostly because it tends to bring out the negativity in many of us.  And in today's time with multi-media and social networking at an all time high, we get instant messages on our Twitter feeds, Facebook news feeds, forwarded emails, etc about it all.  And sadly many of the messages are negative and meant to tear down the opponent or opposite view.  Or it stereotypes a group of people into one category.  Not that having opposing views is bad, but I think it's the way we approach it all. It's one thing to have a certain view and perhaps post intelligently with FACTUAL information that supports one's view, NOT tear down another's view.  It is in the time of election years that I see what I term "tin foil hat" theories emerge, youtube videos posted, quick snippets in feeds that are based on hoax information. I used to love to...