A Bewitchingly Ordinary Life!

A week has come and gone for David in his new adventure.   It has been interesting testing the waters and finding the groove that works for him.  One of the aspects often of Autism is the need for routine.  Without it, David seems to have more meltdowns, he becomes anxious. So I decided to have a routine from the time he got up until we were finished with the focused learning for the day. Our schooling day looks something like this: *Wake-up & breakfast *Dressed & teeth brushed [I find it works best if he "officially" still gets dressed to "go"] *Free time until 7:30am, then school is in session! *Daily free reading time [from a variety of science, social studies, or history books.] *Math time [which includes 2 lessons from a workbook and chalkboard work. *Science which is a mix of reading lessons, written work, and lab. *Social Studies *Language Arts [which includes writing & spelling.  Often this crosses over with science & social studies...

I remember so vividly the moment I met my oldest son’s soul in a dream.  The dream began in a foggy darkness with my best friend and I walking along a lone sidewalk.   Ahead of us I began to see a bit of light, not sunlight but some kind of pale light.  As we drew closer I saw a tall streetlamp, with its artificial light casting a triangle type beam of light down through the fog onto the sidewalk.  There beneath the streetlight a child stood with his back to us and hands in pocket.  Walking past the child I looked at him.  He had an adorable face, with glasses and this kind of bowl shaped haircut.   I turned to my friend and said, “When I have son, he will look like that little boy.”  At that moment the little boy turned towards me, looked up, and said “Hi mom!”  Something deep in my being knew instantly that I had met my future son. I woke up filled with a sense of peace and wonder.  My husband and I were not trying...

The knocks come on the door. "Can Aaron come out and play?" Often, and with joy! But the knocks rarely come for David.  I take that back, occasionally they do come.  Usually preceded first by seeing if Aaron can play.  If he can't, or he's busy, they sometimes ask for David.  Sometimes.  But he's rarely a first thought. And this shatters my heart in a million pieces. I want to say I get it.  I want to say I somewhat understand.  But another part of me wants to say it shouldn't be that way.  He's just a child, and he wants to play and be included as well. That can be the heartbreaking part of children with special needs.  David is quarky, he's loud, he doesn't understand personal space, he has a hearty laugh, he may laugh at inappropriate times, he may add to the conversation, but not in the way one would expect.  He'll believe you if you joke with him and say you're taking over the world.  He's deathly afraid of bugs so he'll get ...

[ David, Dec. 2009, 3 years old ] Lately [and by lately I mean months, and months, and months, and...well you get the picture], David has been singing Opera.  His whole life is in Opera style right now.  If he needs to brush his teeth. It's act one of the morning Opera! Take a bath? Closing act..."BAAATTHH TIMMMEEE!!!!"  Do homework?  Okay maybe he doesn't sing then, he just grumbles like an old man. And as much as it can get on my ever loving nerves, a part of me is so thankful that he does it!  Even at 6am! Christmas Season 2009.  This year will forever stand out to me.  Now I adore Christmas.  It's my favorite holiday, so every year is stands out.  However this one?  This one is when everything changed.  David sang for the first time!  Now I know what you are thinking.  Okay, kids sing, so what made this one special?  It was special because honestly, I never thought he'd sing.  I never even thought he's...

  It is no secret that children with autism quite often struggle with food.  Look, smells, texture, taste, all play a part.  Their scope of what they will eat can be small and concentrated in one group.  Pastas, sweets, salty, etc. Food is an area where I started noticing that David had struggles from an early age.  With purees, I offered a wide variety of foods and often, since it takes an average of 15 times for an infant to acquire a taste of something. No matter how many times over the course of about 10 months in the puree stage, he never would get used to vegetables most fruits, and meats. Mainly he loved oatmeal, applesauce, peaches, and macaroni and cheese purees.  It was incredibly frustrating.  When I tried introducing more textured food as he matured, he HATED them.  He gagged on most things that infants and toddlers love.  Those puffs?  Not so much!  Little crackers.  No way!  He did love the cheese puff...

I've stepped inside a time machine and headed back.  Back in time to the 'overly' romanticized era of stay at home housewives and mothers.  To a time where Donna Reed was busy baking something up, June Cleaver was running the vacuum, and Samantha Stevens was twitching her nose.  I have to admit, there is a part of me that has always been drawn to that era, to being able to stay home, nurture my family, care for hearth and home, wear aprons, put on make up, greet my husband with a kiss and a cocktail! In the beginning, when we had our first child, I did stay home.  And along came our second child just 19 months later.  I stayed home for about 3.5 years then.  Yet that time was such a blur.  Those days were the infancy of discovering that our oldest, David, had special needs.  With the day to day grind of being at a loss, of being in tears many days, of barely getting my teeth brushed, I missed out. I missed out on just enjoying the moment, of look...

Do you ever ask yourself, 'Is this normal?'  'Am I normal?' , 'Does anyone or has anyone felt this way?' Well, that is where I'm at t onight.  Lately I've really had no patience, short tempered, having a tough time de-stressing, blocking out noise, and finding some inner peace.  What happened to th at wanna -be gentle mom?  I'm pretty sure she is lost at sea.  I feel like I'm drowning, working outside of the home, then trying to stay on top of things in the home, getting my CDA to teach preschool...sometimes, I feel like the walls are closing in. I snap at my children much to easily lately, and f rankly, I hate it, and hate myself for it.  And it cuts me to the bone when they know it, notice it, and say "Mom, you can't be mean, you can't yell."  I think I'm in need of an overhaul, a retreat away to regroup, parenting classes, classes to gain back patience and stop letting the little thi ngs aggravate me. Certainly I ...

Yesterday I was reflecting on my own parenting journey and how that journey ebbs and flows with the different paths we take, we choose, we refuse, we reluctantly take, and paths that surprise us.  I began thinking that after making a final choice to step away from all parenting boards and parenting 'cliques' .  With my own paren ting journey and the struggles it has brought with a child facing special needs and another child who is extremely stubbo rn, I felt it was best for my own sanity.  I need support, all mothers need support.  At the end of the day if we can't get past a style or parenting choice and choose to tear down each other , then we have accomplished nothing.  Yet if we can ex tend a hand , offer a hug or encouraging word when another mother is struggling, then we could very well change the world ! Today has been one of the challenging days with David, then adding Aaron who is a typical 4 year old...well it makes f or a less than thrilling d...

I find myself on a rol ler coaster many times.  There are times when it's downhill, in a great way.  The days are tackled, everything under control.  A feeling of "I CAN do this." And then there are the uphill climbs.  Chugging along, jerking upward, a feeling that the crest of hill will never come.  That is this weekend . Only in the last couple of months have I really rea lized and accepted that David has special needs more than what I ever imagined in the beginning, and they will never "go away" or "be cured".   I have learned so much about approaches to guide him in life.  I have watched him grow and flourish and seen his brain expand like a sponge with knowledge that reaches far beyond his years.  I have seen him go from barely saying 30 words to talking on a n almost adult level. I've also seen him struggle more and more as he grows .  4 years ago I knew something was up.  And when I lea rned h e had a speech/developmental ...