The truth on a paper bag that pierces my heart.

There are things that my children have faced that have made me sad.  Then, there are things that pierce straight through my heart.  I don't think I will ever forget the evening that David walked out of his room wearing a paper bag [pictured below], and said "Look mom!"
He pointed to the bag and said the words that he had written.  "No fun for me."  Then he took off the bag and read the other part.  "Need a normal life mom."
I asked what he meant.
Immediately tears began to run down his face, and he said.  "I'm tired of people making fun of me at school.  Telling me I'm weird and gross."  And then he broke down and really cried.
And I cried too.  It was incredibly hard to hold back tears, so I didn't.  I hated, HATED that my child had to, and has to face this.  I hate that because of his special needs, he has to face the cruelty of being made fun of, and the ignorance of those who don't educated their children, or care to educated themselves on disabilities.  It is a shame that people don't accept others, but rather would bring another to tears and shame them and make them feel 'less than' because they face challenges.

Frankly it angers me.  Now mind you, I really try to not involve myself in "normal" children's battles.  I try hard to raise them as I was.  To ignore the stinging words and realize that often people who do such things either don't know better or need friends themselves and just don't know how to express it properly. 

I was able to not let such ignorance bother me.  And trust me, I was made fun of.
Heartbreakingly, my son is not able to ignore it.  He takes to to heart.  And that frightens me.  Why?
Because I read terribly tragic stories of YOUNG children and teenagers who take their own lives because of such cruelty.

I realize that the occassional ribbing is normal.  But an everyday thing?  One that sends my child to tears?  One that he comes home at least 4 of the 5 days of school, saying the same thing over and over?  That is not right.  And that ANGERS me!

I realize I can't protect him from every single thing.  I just can't.  And I hate that.  I do know I can control some aspects.  And I'm struggling with that currently.  Do I keep him in his current school or take him back to where he began his school time in Preschool, at Our Children's Academy.
Because this school is special needs based, it's own students are much more accepting of each other.  And as a parent, that is a relief for me.  And I know it would be for him. 

The hard part is that children don't come with a manual.  Especially one on children who face challenges.  The only thing I know to do is look to those who have been through it, and follow my own heart as I try to do what's best for David.

One day at a time, some days with tears.  Some days with smiles.
Some days with the reality of a paper bag.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6.5 years later....I still wonder about you tiny one!

Image
I will never forgot the day when I found out I was pregnant for the very first time.  It was such a rush of emotion.  Fear, happiness, contemplation, all wrapped up into one.  It wasn't the most opportune time, but let's face it when is it really?  At the heart of it all, I was ecstatic.  I was going to be a mother, and Eric a father. Several weeks later I could tell, things were not going well.  One night we found ourselves in the emergency room.  An ultrasound had been ordered.  Eric was made to leave and I was left alone in a sterile room with just the technician and myself.  She barely spoke 2 words to me.  I saw the baby and the screen was then quickly whisked around so I could see no more.  My heart sunk.  The doctor came in and said we see the baby, but no heart beat.  But don't worry.  It's still early! But I already knew in my heart.  I was nearly 8 weeks and the heart should have already been beati...
Read more

She was using food stamps! Why doesn't she work? Those are MY tax dollars!

Image
I will never forget that day. I was judging!!! I watched the lady as she absently scanned 2 Lunchables, a carton of Capri-Sun, some individual applesauce pouches, a single serving of some soda product, and a pack of mixed nuts. (do you KNOW how expensive and processed those Lunchables are anyway?? Not to mention juice pouches full of sugar.) Come on, wouldn't it be easier and cheaper to make a couple of sandwiches, and have some reusable cups and portion containers to get virtually the same meal?   Her children were a little disheveled and good god I don't think she ever brushes their hair. They were also not under control but arguing back and forth. To be honest it was rather annoying and I thought why doesn't she intervene? But wonder of wonders, they were on electronics.  And of course, she was paying with food stamps.  No mistaking that debit card anywhere. They have welfare, but still have money for that apparently.   She had some kind of Vera Bradle...
Read more

Our own one room school-house

Image
This summer we have our own one room schoolhouse, but this thought....this action has a much deeper meaning. There's something about history that draws me.  Pictures of ancient days...decades, generations, centuries gone by... black and white, faded...torn...all draw me in.  I wonder about the buildings.  About the people who came and went from those buildings.   As I was looking at old one room schoolhouse photos online I came across one that was both beautiful and eerily haunting all at once.  An abandoned, almost dilapated schoolhouse.  Not much around it, just emptiness where once there had been life. And I began to wonder again.  About the teacher or teachers that the schoolhouse had seen.  About the students who had come and gone.  About their lives, what they did, about the marriages they may have had, their own children.  If any of those descendents were living today.  And how those lives touched other lives...th...
Read more