A Bewitchingly Ordinary Life!

The one thing about company is that I know the house will cleaned whether I feel like it or not.  I'll sweep the kitchen floor, and among the pile of dirt you'll find legos, toy cars, and other miscellaneous  junk that are proclaimed treasures with outcries of "MOM, don't throw that away I NEED that!"  And so it goes back to the their bedrooms, into another junk pile that will eventually and miraculously find it's way back out to the kitchen floor for the next sweeping session. The furniture will be dusted, wiping away small finger prints that form child drawn pictures.  My "fresh scent" warmer will be turned on to give you the illusion that you smell fresh laundry!  The bathrooms will sparkle. And I have high hopes that the boy's rooms will be cleaned since I've sent them there all afternoon to prepare for your arrival. I go to their rooms after doing all my other work... Oh those bedrooms, well...the doors will be closed.  If you happen t...

The season is in full swing.  Christmas is just days away.  And here in the Gouge home it has been a month long festival that has captured our hearts and souls! As our sons have gotten older, I have been incorporating new ideas and keeping old traditions alive to make the season last for more than just one day.  It seems the month flies by and I wanted to slow it down this year. As we rolled along doing our own thing, I noticed on social media that all the various blog posts and memes began popping up about the "real reason for the season" and why we shouldn't buy our children lots of gifts, or have only so many gifts from Santa so others don't feel bad, and the list goes on. I stood back and thought, but there is no "right" way to celebrate.  It is different for each family.  If you only want to do one gift, do it!!  If you do no gifts, that is awesome!  If you do 1000 gifts, more power to you.  If you say Jesus is the reason, ...

I've always been open with my children.  It's the way I was raised and I think it is a good thing to pass on.  Admittedly though today was on of those days where I was taken aback and for a fleeting moment, wished that I my children never had to know such hate in the world. As most know because of news outlets, social media, conversation, and personal memories, it was the anniversary of '9-11'.  Indeed a heart wrenching day in history that still lingers.  It is a day that honestly I had not discussed with my children, as it has never come up to prompt discussion around them. Today was the day that all changed.  As we pulled out of the YMCA parking lot, Aaron began telling me that tale as if I had never heard it.  I silently listened as he recounted the fateful day of 2 planes hitting two buildings called the Twin Towers "because they looked alike".  How people on the top floors did not make it out and how many died.  Followed by 'We shouldn't ma...

I am positive that my children feel this way often.  I am neither fair to them nor give them the things they "need".  I've heard it through their lamenting [aka: crying], through their loud voices [aka: yelling], through interpretive displays [aka: tantrums].  And their questions do not get the answers they deserve [aka: want to hear].   I had one such encounter this past Sunday with my son David.  He came to me with a heavy sigh and the famous "Mom, I'm bored."  cry.   The next thing I knew I was channeling my mother and I heard the words come out of my mouth, "Go read a book then." I heard those words many times as a child.  As a side note, it stuck.  My love for reading grew.  I found my boredom would disappear as I entered worlds unexplored!  My mom took me several times monthly to our local public library.  I grew up loving it there.  Of course when you are young you don't really see the depth of it all....

It's been three months since I've begun changing my eating lifestyle habits once and for all!  The only thing that I have ever found that has worked is the low carb method.  However, it can be too limiting.  Now I don't really fit into any category other than enjoying life while I still eat deliciously! The basics of it?  Sugar, wheat, and processed carb free. And it works!  In three months I've lost about 22 lbs and 1 dress size.  I have more energy [most of the time when the Fibromyalgia doesn't flare up], less stress on joints and I feel full! So when I changed over, I knew my sweet tooth and my love of sinfully delicious food would not just disappear.  So I began to explore options that could be healthier.  And sometimes not so healthy.  I do use some sugar free items.  But I also love some stevia and monk fruit sweetener as well! First, I adore bread!    And found that the sprouted grain line of breads did wonderful ...

Lately, I have been looking at life with stark reality glasses.  Some days are like a beautiful painting.  Many details, brilliant colors, picturesque moments.  I treasure those, wishing I could capture that memory on a canvas to remind myself.  Remind myself of happy moments when the bleak moments come.  And there in is the stark reality viewing.  Not just one thing, but a multitude of thoughts, actions, moments, situations where I have neither the answers nor the strength. I am finding that parenting is becoming increasingly difficult, heartbreaking, and frustrating.  I have slowly begun to understand [since the births of our sons], how deep and unconditional this love is.  How there are not words, no paintings, nothing on this earth to describe what it is like to love your own child(ren).  Until you experience it. Stark reality.  When you're pregnant no one really tells you how much parenting can really drain everything you hav...

This question reverberated through my very being yesterday as I drove David and I to Downtown Disney.  "Mom, what does a bomb do?" The cold stark realization hit me that my child is growing up.  He'll be a  young man in not too many years from now.  Why does innocence have to flee so quickly.  And how do I answer that?  The thought of sharing any information on it with David hurt me.  I feel like it's the beginning of slow dismantle of innocent times of childhood that will never be recaptured. "Well, they go off and hurt lots of buildings and people." He takes a silent thoughtful moment.  His little brain is always working.  "What do bombs look like?" "Hmmm..."  I really hate this conversation.  I suddenly want to be anywhere but there in the car having that conversation.  I don't really want him to know.  I hate the hurt in the world.  I hate war.  I hate that people have to die because someone else thinks the...